I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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