my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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