You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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