Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
