You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My liver just had a heart attack.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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