If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
