O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
