Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
