he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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