Sacagawea was the original milf.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
