Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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