...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
