we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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