The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
