ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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