Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
