What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
