You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
