Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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