Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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