I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
