I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
