thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
