Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
