Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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