their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
