I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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