I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
