his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i now understand why vodka
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
