And to think..we used to do everything sober...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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