so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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