fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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