I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize