She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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