Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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