Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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