I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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