remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
third nipple confirmed
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
