it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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