idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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