you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
