i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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