No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Come see our sink grown plant.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
why is half of my head shaved?
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