is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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