I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
