I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
