Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
operation harelip BJ is a go
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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