Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
