so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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