We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
