is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
