Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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