he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
