Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
