Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
