All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
