i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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