I cannot find my penis.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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