ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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