Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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