There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You made out with two different species that night
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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