I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
