Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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