your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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