it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
