I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
