Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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