How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize