So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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