You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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