he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Still dying that you shit outside
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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