drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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