His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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