I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
